Cyber safety – a crucial life skill for 21st century kids

No reasonable person has ever expected potty training to happen without help, cajoling and sometimes outright begging. We purposefully teach kids how to use the potty – hence the word ‘training’.  In the world today, kids learning how to be safe online is just as fundamentally important. Cyber safety training should probably be a rite of passage like potty training.

You can’t do your business anywhere and anytime 

If you’re past the potty training stage with your kids, (lucky dog!) think back to all you had to do.  It’s a process for a kid who has been free to do their business anywhere and anytime to learn the rules and expectations of the time and place to go potty. 

Kids are born no more aware of the rules of being safe online. In fact, many of the things we encourage and celebrate kids for doing in real life are totally a no-no online. We quiz kids on their birthdays and ooh and ahh when they know the date – bonus points for knowing the year.  But sharing your birthday online is like advertising for your identity to be stolen.  If no one has ever explicitly told you not to broadcast your birthday online you may never think the same rules don’t apply.

Patience is key

Cyber safety skills require the same persistence and purposeful instruction that we give kids for potty training. It is a journey and the same things won’t work for every child. 

Here are 4 tips to get a child started.

1. Tell kids the Info They Should Never Give Out Online

For example, birthdays, full names, home address, school name, parents’ name, etc.. Why is this not a Captain Obvious statement? We teach kids their address and phone number (ironically as a safety precaution) and like anything they learn, they may want to show that they know it. We must explicitly tell them that showing off that knowledge online is not ok. You’d be surprised how many teens (and more than a few adults) haven’t gotten that memo.

2. Tell kids that Stranger Danger Applies Online

The natural triggers for stranger danger we have as humans didn’t evolve in a time of computers. Recognizing stranger danger in real life is easy when the hairs on the back of your neck are having their moment and trying their best to stand up.  But when you’re in your own cozy room, those instincts may fail. Separation created by a screen may cause unwarranted bravery. Grownups need to explicitly point out to children that strangers online should be treated the same as strangers in real life.

3. Tell Kids to Listen to Their Bodies 

Ever been cranky and then suddenly realized that it was because you were hungry?  Yes? That doesn’t happen much for kids. They may not be able to get to the bottom of a feeling they have.  Explain to kids that if they feel scared, sad or uncomfortable online, it could be they are in the middle of an unsafe situation. Teach them not only to recognize the feeling but also the next steps you want them to take such as, tell a grown up.

4. Role-Play with the kids

Just as potty training doesn’t become successful overnight, cyber safety training doesn’t either. As children grow, so do the possibilities for unsafe cyber situations. At each age, make up situations and ask your child how they would respond to see if what you are trying to teach them has sunk in. How would they react if a friend started telling mean “jokes” on the Internet? How would they respond if they were offered a free bouncy castle but had to give their name, address and parents’ details?  Nothing helps good decision making like pattern recognition.

There will be accidents and leaks we’d rather do without. But like potty training, kids will eventually master cyber safety if you keep at it.