A stitch in time saves nine
As delightful as needlework is, no one is doing any stitching here. If you’re not familiar with the proverb, it means, work today may save you a LOT of work later. This is Anetaland so you know we’re talking about the saintly work of parenting in our digital era.
#21stCenturyProblems – Screen time battles
We’re the guinea pigs. One of the first generations learning how to parent alongside screens. So we all need to give ourselves some grace. We don’t really know what we’re doing.
Have you ever seen a grown person battle with a baby over a phone? Hang around any place where grown-ups must go to do necessary grown-up things – like buying food or mailing a package. Such places also expect some amount of decorum so you find parents desperately trying to get that decorum from kids. Eventually a scene like this will play out: two parties in a stare-down. One is 20 times stronger than the other and not sucking on a binky. The throw down happens. Guess who the victor is? Were it not so defeating to have experienced being beaten by a baby, it would be hilarious.
Screen time fights are a sign you’re trying to do something right
Let’s use a food analogy. (We’ve had more practice with feeding kids nutritious food than with feeding them ‘nutritious’ digital content.) If you let kids eat whatever they wanted, there’d be no disagreements over food right? But we all know that’s not a good parenting move.
So take heart in the fact that you battle with your kids over screens. This is not a hollow platitude. Whether the kid has a binky or is old enough to be doing triple-digit multiplication, it’s no fun to battle. It takes work and is yucky. Taking the path of leaving kids to their own devices (pun intended :)) would be easier in the moment. But that easier path only leads to even more work in the future.
Screen time fights are also a sign that you could be doing more
You can have kids who are mad at you and claim you are ruining their lives AND be confident that you are doing the right thing for them. But wouldn’t it be awesome if doing right also felt right?
That’s what we’re about this week. How to minimize battles over screen time. And in case you are wondering, no, it’s not too late. It’s never too late. No you haven’t missed the boat. Or more rightly, you haven’t missed the chance to try to steer the boat. Try these tips and tricks.
Habits are hard to break. And that’s a good thing
We often dwell on how sucky it is to try to get kids to break bad habits. But we forget, habits are hard to break when they are good too! The challenge is to get into some good habits and let the universe naturally help them carry on.
Work consciously at establishing those ‘good’ screen time habits you want with your kids. Admittedly, it is harder when the kids are older and think they are 30 years, but at any age, consistency turns into habit.
You know your home. What screen time habits will fit in your routine? You can do things like, require the kids to listen to an educational podcast every time before jamming out to whatever music they want. Before you know it, it feels off not to have some knowledge dropped on them before they drop the beat. You can allow screen time for longer IF it is something productive. And trust me, there are productive shows that are fun and engaging and before you know it, the kids love those kinds of shows.
Resist the urge for short-sighted ‘easy paths’
Adulting is hard. Parenting is adulting on steroids. We understand that it is exhausting work. Sometimes you want to give yourself a break. It’s been a long day and the kids want to play 30 more minutes of what-what game which you know to be mindless junk. You know you would love that peace and extra couple minutes of calm and cooperation you’ll get if you let them do it.
Resist the urge! Take the long view. It is work now but it will be so much more work later if you train them to see that your boundaries are shiftable. You will be avoiding a fight now but setting you and your kids up for several more fights in the future. Now that doesn’t make any sense does it? So do your darndest to resist.
Starting a habit you don’t want – Just don’t do it
Anyone who has looked up from your screen after 2 hours for what was supposed to be 5 minutes of Tik Tok understands this. Some screen time is addictive. And if it is this hard for you, presumably an adult who is better able to self-regulate, imagine how hard it is for kids. So don’t. Just don’t allow certain content to even enter their sphere.
If your kids are already into the addictive time sucking mindless content, it’s not too late. Your job is to show them productive screen time is not boring. (In fact, the productive stuff can be addicting too but one problem at a time). Let Aneta help you.
