You are not the anti-boredom police
“I’m bored!” That phrase from a child is usually followed by the expectation of some quick action from the grownup who has dared to allow them to experience boredom. Then the grownup scrambles. What shall we do to make this terrible situation better? Oh – What’s this?! A handy tablet, phone, or computer. Screen time comes in to save the day!
Or does it?
Yes, we all use screen time to quench boredom
Ok. So let’s be clear that we’re not knocking using screen time to occupy the kids. Screen time has kept the sanity in many a family, including yours truly. And if it is productive screen time, why not?
Well, the “why not” is this. It is not just totally okay, but it’s actually beneficial for a child to experience boredom sometimes. Swooping in, with screen time or other, may be robbing the kid of something that’s good for them. Now you don’t want to do that, do you?
Regardless, it doesn’t feel good to be hammered with the refrain of “I’m bored” and the general ickiness bored kids put you through. So, this week, we remind ourselves of some of the benefits of kids being bored. Then we share what you can do so it’s not terrible for you when you allow or even encourage, periods of boredom.
Everyday doesn’t have to be an instagrammable day
Be gracious to yourself for having unwittingly become captain of the anti-boredom police unit.
If the sheer number of kid activities available and what you see folks doing with their families on social media is to be believed, it always looks like you are not doing enough. You’ve probably worried, more than once, or a hundred times, “Do I suck at giving Little Kennedy life-enhancing experiences?”
Free yourself with this insight – some boredom is good kids.
Boredom can spur kids into being creative
Many great ideas have come out of sheer boredom. Trust me. Or Google it yourself. Kids who have made up games, written stories, invented weird snacks, or even gotten into head-scratching mischief, will often say they did it because they were bored.
Of course, kids will struggle to see the creativity-inducing quality of the times they are bored and act miserably. Here’s a tip for your peace and sanity. At a time when everyone is in a good mood, work with the kids to start a long list of activities they can do on their own. It can even be a mental list. Your role is to guide and not to choose. So if they have “build a spaceship” on that list, let it be. The next time they come and say, “I’m bored!”, refer them to section 252, item g on the list.
Boredom can give kids a chance to get rest they don’t know they need
Here’s the scene. Little Kennedy vehemently declares they are bored. You bend over backward to fix it stat! 15 minutes later, you find the same child is so far in dreamland they’re eligible for citizenship.
Sometimes kids truly can’t place the source of the unease in their bodies. The claims of boredom may be a deep need for rest. The problem is if you respond with something enticing enough, a second wind may displace that rest. So the next time you feel compelled to step between your child and boredom, try the most relaxing, soothing thing you can get away with first.
Boredom can teach kids problem-solving and dealing with frustration
It is an important skill for kids to practice – realize you have a problem (they’re bored) and come up with a way to fix it. And often not your first choice way.
Giving kids this particular benefit of boredom takes some saintly patience. Most kids’ go-to solution is, “Grownup, make me not bored”. Or there is something they wanted to do anyway and they’re using boredom as an excuse for it.
There are a host of other fixes that will gradually become evident to the child. Necessity is the mother of invention, they say. If you’re able to withstand their badgering, they’ll move down the list of options.
So the tip here is to focus on the good you know you’re giving the child as you endure what they mete out. This is a terribly weak solution but that’s all we’ve got. Share with us if you have another idea.
Boredom can teach kids that it is okay to be bored
If you go around solving boredom like it is a communicable disease, that is what the kids will learn. They will internalize that being bored is something to be avoided.
Play it cool. Let boredom do its thing. In fact, act like it is no different than when they say, “I’m cold” or “I’m hot”. There is nothing inherently wrong with being bored. It is just something to deal with and they have the strength to go through it.
