Sometimes we need a little help to make ourselves do what we want to do
One thing the covid lockdowns revealed to me is that my willpower is not nearly as strong as I thought. Apparently, the reason I don’t snack all day every day is a lucky side effect of my daily structure of work and dropping kids off at school. Without it, I was like this lady singing “I’m at the Fridge Again” begging for someone to stop me.
Boundaries are an act of care and love
It’s probably not news to you that kids thrive on having clear, consistent boundaries. Be honest – it’s a downside of adulting that there’s no one whose job it is to stop you from doing stupid stuff.
In most areas, we don’t even give a second thought when a child throws a fit that we’re ruining their life with a boundary. Who in their right mind will let their kid juggle knives just because the child says they really want to? Why are we iffy about the importance of boundaries around kids’ screen time?
Why do Screen time boundaries feel optional
I don’t play a scientist on TV or anything but I have a couple of theories.
One: We don’t see any immediate harm caused by lack of screen time boundaries. Let your kid juggle knives and you’ll have to answer for it immediately. But let your kid watch 5 hours of Dora the Explorer in one sitting (which I’ve done) and it seems like no harm no foul.
Two: It’s so darn hard to enact screen time boundaries. “All knives no good” is simple. But with screen time, there are so many caveats! What exactly is the child doing on the screen, what else the child could be doing, how old is the child, what’s the weather outside, is there any caregiver for the child etcetera, etcetera etcetera.
Three: Screen time is so new, who really knows what it does to kids. It’s kind of like when smoking was first discovered to be harmful – there were hand wavy surgeon general’s warnings no one heeded. It took decades for the impact in terms of cancer, breathing problems, dental problems, heart disease, diabetes and other terrible outcomes to become familiar enough.
Three simple tips to help screen time boundaries
There are many types of boundaries around screen time. It’s best to pick your poison and tackle them one by one. It can be things like; the amount of time the child spends on screens; the content they engage with on screens; where they engage with screens; the time of day they engage with screens.
Whatever the area or type of boundary, we have 3 simple tips to help you help your child.
Keep devices out of constant sight
When you can’t have something, it is oh so helpful not to keep staring at it. Help everyone out and keep the devices out of prominent sight.
For convenience, you may have to keep your child’s device where they can reach it. But instead of leaving it in the open where they constantly need to see it, consider keeping it in a drawer. Even covering it with some strategically placed books will help. If you have the option, put the device in another room entirely. Sometimes, Out of sight, out of mind is enough.
Designate certain locations with no screen time zones
If I should find myself in front of a TV with a tub of ice cream, that whole tub of ice cream will be eaten. The combination of TV and ice cream crushes all my resolve. Similarly, there are places that you can imagine a child will blow past any boundaries. Keep is simple for them. Make a rule that there is simply no screen watching from those locations. For example, no screen time in their beds.
Choose events that trigger no screen time
Again with the goal of keeping things simple, make a rule that you and your child can easily follow around when they have to put the screens down. Instead of a place, it is events that are clear and easy to spot. So for instance, no screen time after dinner. Or no screen time once the street lights come on. It is clear something a child can look forward to when they find they can’t take control.
Hey, let’s say for a moment that the likes of the American Academy of Pediatrics and American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry are onto something with all their ‘kids need screen time boundaries’ stuff.
Whatever boundaries you set for the kids screen time, keep the devices physically out of sight, pick some places and times where screen time is always no go and you’ll have a better shot at helping maintain them.
